STRUGGLES WITH SUCCESS AND SELF-SABOTAGEBy

One dictionary definition of success is the accomplishment of what is attempted or intended, or the favorable outcome or attainment of one's desired ends. But, to live life in one's own way requires that we be in full possession of our own capacities and powers, our own nature and character, and our own reflective consciousness. We ourselves, very often play a role in sabotaging or undermining our efforts to find success.

Here are some of the ways we are most likely to sabotage ourelves:
1. Being overly passive, fearful, listless or indecisive, so that chances of all kinds pass by.
2. Repeatedly having anger get the better of you because it is expressed inappropriately or in destructive ways, such as blowing up at people, or turning it inward on yourself. Even worse, not realizing you are angry and allowing others to mistreat or even abuse you.
3. Having a chronically chaotic health situation.
4. Being controlled by depression and anxiety.
5. Being continually ill or accident-prone.
6. Being controlled by compulsive behaviors to abuse alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, food, lack of physical exercise, etc. Being compulsively late.

Do you recognize something of yourself in any of these? We all sabotage ourselves to some degree. While there are common patterns to self-sabotage, every person is unique and we each have our own deeply buried reasons for contributing to what holds us back, blocks us and keeps us from reaching our desired goals.

Recognizing and acknowledging your self-sabotaging patterns, and exploring your own contributions, choices, thinking, etc., does not mean you are to BLAME! You are not bad, you are not at fault, or wrong, or stupid, or any of the other things your negative, non-stop, self criticism tells you about yourself.

Looking at patterns of self-sabotage does not diminish the uncontrollable aspects of our lives, nor does it imply placing personal blame. Self-blaming is not only unhelpful, it is the last thing you need to do. Understanding more about yourself, being sympathetic to yourself, identifying and changing your negative thinking and behaviors contributing to your pain and frustration, are skills few of us are taught - but they can by learned.

You can make a difference in your life!